Keep all hands and feet inside at all times..

Its been absolutely forever since I have written anything except for lists…lists to remember, to forget, and to keep me insane 99% of the time. The past three weeks have been probably the most stressful times that I have EVER had in my life. Within these weeks, I have been in the process of reconnecting with myself. I have realized so much about who I really am and who I want to be. My life has done a complete 180. Its insane. I am now moved back in with my parents and in the process of buying a house of my own. I have been hanging out with a couple of old friends and starting to become really close to them. Another list? okay. I have realized…

-I absolutely hate, I mean despise, being controlled by anyone at all.. I want to be able to do what I want to do whenever I want to do it.
-I need a relationship that i based on; trust and understanding
-I don’t want to live an uptight lifestyle. I want to feel my freedom.-I want to push my rights to the edge.. to the limits.. my freedom of speech, silence.. everything!
-My friends are quite very important to me and I will never let them go again.
-I want to be able to be selfish.
-This life is way to special to spend anytime on BS.
I hardly know anything about myself anymore because I changed myself to make someone else happy so they would be with me. I really hate that. I hate that I’m thinking about what someone else would think or say when I’m making a choice for myself.

I feel pretty messed up.. but I’m starting from rock freaking bottom and I’m building a mountain! I don’t need anyone who doesn’t need me.. So I’m back blogging.. and this is honestly the greatest feeling in the world right here. ❤


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